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Love in the house

Hodge-podge of a family defies dire predictions

Paula Davenport  •  Staff writer
Published April 5, 2008

Friday is piano lesson day for all four children. The Spokesman-Review (RAJAH BOSE The Spokesman-Review) Related information Read more

Among the hundreds of infants rescued from abusive and neglectful families by the Washington state foster-care system in the late 1980s and early '90s were five children adopted by a Spokane couple.

Deborah Kelly-Corn, a mental-health counselor at Sacred Heart Medical Center's youth psychiatric center, and Hugh Kelly, an attorney-turned-teacher, believe caring for kids is their life's mission.

All the children suffer the lasting effects of prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs. Considered special-needs children, they range in age from 13 to 17 and are scaling obstacles some caseworkers predicted they never could, Kelly-Corn said.

"There have been roadblocks and challenges," she said, "but there are payoffs."

They are thriving in mainstream classrooms, getting mostly A's and B's, making friends, and becoming confident and independent.

"When you see your kids do that, you can die and go to heaven," Hugh Kelly said.

It's rare for one couple to adopt multiple high-risk kids. "I think we're unusual," Kelly-Corn said, but she loves their "hodge-podge of a family."

When the children were small, she told them "they did not come from mommy's tummy – they came from mommy's heart."

Though the Kellys divorced more than a year ago, they remain friendly and involved in the children's lives. Kelly lives a short bike ride from the house Kelly-Corn shares with the children, her new husband and two stepchildren.

University of Washington researchers track the Kelly children and hundreds of others in one of several alcohol-related studies, Kelly-Corn said. Fetal alcohol syndrome is one of the leading causes of mental retardation, said Ann Streissguth, founder of the Alcohol and Drug Unit at UW's School of Medicine. It affects as many as three U.S. infants per 1,000 births, she said.

Epilepsy, organ dysfunction, congenital deformities, learning difficulties, memory lapses and difficulty understanding abstract concepts have all been linked to fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), reports the KidsHealth Web site.

Streissguth, a member of the research team that identified the syndrome, in one study found 80 percent of adults with FAS live with their families, unable to work independently. About 60 percent experienced major disruptions in school and the same number had run-ins with the criminal justice system.

"We should all care about this because we pay the costs, in different ways," she said.

Joey came to live with the Kellys when he was 5 weeks old, Kelly-Corn said. A drug baby, he suffered from apnea and wore a heart monitor the first 18 months of life.

He appeared to be growing healthier. But at 3, Joey died of SIDS. At his 1993 funeral, mourners released 100 balloons in his memory.

His death, Kelly-Corn said, reinforced her belief that "these kids are the most important things in the world."

Joey's little sister Courtney was placed with the Kellys when she, too, was 5 weeks old. The couple said keeping the siblings together was a goal.

Courtney was partially paralyzed and suffered from cerebral palsy and a congenital speech defect, Kelly-Corn said. She also had a hole in her heart.

Today, she is a 17-year-old high school sophomore who works as a store clerk after school and weekends. She sings in a choir, volunteers at Sacred Heart Medical Center, and loves astronomy and cooking.

Surgery to repair her palate, speech therapy and extracurricular activities have helped her become outgoing, caring and connected. She hopes to become a bakery chef or massage therapist, she said.

Shad, short for Shadrick, was the next to join the family. Malnourished and very sick, the 3-year-old learned to talk, use utensils and go to the bathroom. And Kelly-Corn said she fondly remembers getting down on her hands and knees to teach Shad to crawl.

Now a spry 16-year-old who has been diagnosed as autistic, he is a high school freshman and pianist who has begun to compose music.

He has participated in the annual Northwest Music Festival, and he's the only freshman in the Northwest invited to Gonzaga University's organ festival, his father said.

Added Kelly-Corn: "This is the kid who (caseworkers) said would have to be institutionalized" by now.

"I know my kids have disabilities," Kelly-Corn said, "but I don't play into it. I tell them they can do anything they want – it just may take longer."

Michael, 14, and Samantha, or "Sam," 13, are biological siblings and seventh-graders.

Their brains failed to fully develop in the womb. As a result, they have problems with long and short-term memory, reasoning and impulse control.

Michael had surgery to alleviate severe hearing loss. He arrived when he was 14 months old, in just his underwear and with a raging case of chicken pox.

"When he was small, I went to school with him the first three weeks," Kelly-Corn said. "He learned how to stand in line, how to hang up his coat." A gangling redhead who wears glasses, he enjoys video games, exploring technology, playing basketball and baseball.

Meanwhile, Sam has been with the family since she was 4 months old. Malnourished and neglected, her immune system was severely compromised. Doctors said she fell into the "failure to thrive" category, caused by lack of human contact as a newborn.

Today, Sam still experiences separation anxiety and finds it difficult to control her emotions, her mother said. But she works toward self-control every day. Sam has been selected to help a disabled special education student who uses a wheelchair navigate the lunchroom.

"She's learning to be nurturing," Kelly-Corn said.

Some of the children's success is due to support in the form of state-registered in-home caregivers, appropriate enrichment opportunities and field-tested routines, Kelly-Corn said.

Both parents have good jobs, but the state covers only about half the children's expenses. Outside financial support can make the difference, said Jan Lammers, with the state Department of Health and Social Services.

During the day, rotating assistants come in to help the children wake up, get dressed, have breakfast and head to school. "If the first three things don't happen (on schedule), the fourth won't, either," said Kelly-Corn, who works 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. After school, the routine reverses. The kids get about a half hour to unwind, have snacks and start their homework.

"I'm a very firm mom," Kelly-Corn said, smiling.

She implemented a system to teach the connection between responsibilities and privileges. Doing chores – like tidying up bedrooms, taking care of two dogs, two cats and a parakeet – and other good behavior are rewarded with points. Points can be used for shopping, playing Xbox, updating MySpace pages and watching DVDs.

Groceries, purchased in bulk, cost $800 to $1,000 a month, said Kelly-Corn.

Amid all the activity over the years, the Kellys also have provided emergency, temporary shelter for some 40 foster children.

"I don't believe in throw-away kids," she said. "Our greatest success is theirs."